Missing My Dad...2 Years Today

Today is the second anniversary of my dad's passing. It brings me right back to the last time I saw him. I've never been very good about calling my family. During my dad's sickness I tried to call more often to check on him. One particular morning a Twitter friend asked how my dad was doing. I hadn't talked to him or my mom in a week so I wanted to call before I responded to my friend to get the latest update. My mom answered and told me that my dad had been asking where I was. She proceeded to remind him that I was in California.

Living so far away, my constant daily prayer was, "Dear Heavenly Father, please let me know when it's time to see my dad before you call him home." As I hung up the phone, I felt an incredible, overwhelming prompting to drive to Utah right away. I checked the weather report, a big storm was heading in but not until late the following night. I took off the next morning hoping to beat the snowstorm, driving straight through to Utah. The storm arrived early. I was alone, driving right through the middle of almost white out conditions. I prayed and prayed, tense hands gripping the wheel, passing several cars which had slid off the road. My mom called worried, asking me to please stop & stay the night somewhere...but I knew I had to get there that night.

My prayers were answered, after 12 hours I pulled safely into the driveway. I went right in to see my dad. He was so happy to see me & my sister Stacy who had just flown in. We visited. His voice weak, but full of love and happiness to see us. As we said good night, he looked intently at us and said, "Tomorrow's going to be a good day." I  woke in the early morning hours being told that my dad wasn't doing good. My brothers. sisters, and mom all surrounded my dad, each taking turns with him.

As I spent time with him, I told him how much it meant to me when he told me how proud he was of the person I had become and the mother I was to my kids. Those words were powerful. They pushed away all thoughts of failure over choices I'd made in the past that hadn't always been the best. They filled my heart with peace. To know that my dad, the incredible man and example that he was, was proud of me...it changed me. I told him how much I loved him. What an incredible father he's been never treating me like a step-daughter but a real daughter. I let him know that we'd all be there to take care of mom so he could let go and go home to his Heavenly Father. I wanted him to be filled with complete peace. To know that the family he'd loved, raised and provided for would be there for each other in his absence. He was our role model, our teacher, a man who not only led with words but more importantly by example. Which speaks louder than words.

As we sat in the room, nothing but love. Love of family, the only thing in this life that truly matters filled the room. Overwhelming love. Abounding love. Amazing love. Unending love. Tears of love filled to overflowing. We waited. I leaned close to kiss him against the backdrop of the slight flurry of snowflakes dusting the ground outside the window. Snow. His favorite. Nothing but love. His eyes looking toward the ceiling, he seemed to see someone familiar, his voice but a whisper, "Here He comes."

On a day that my dad knew would be, "A good day," He went home to his Heavenly Father. And though I miss him everyday, I'm so grateful that I was there to say goodbye. To feel the love inside that room. To hear my dad whispering to the Lord as He came to take him home. I know that one day, on "A good day," I too will see him again. I love and miss you dad. I know that your presence and amazing smile makes Heaven a little bright.

 

And We Stand All Amazed!

 I have so much to tell you, but I need to find time to sit down and put everything into words (family visits/pictures/football etc.) But in the meantime I've only been doing Baby Ariella updates, the importance of her situation seems to overshadow everything else. I guess you can say this little Angel consumes my daily thoughts. I find myself checking up on her throughout the day, waiting expectantly for good news on her daily progress. Well, today we received some AMAZING news and it only serves to lift our spirits in Hope and Faith. 

**Please stop by her site and read what happened today at the meeting with the doctor's & leave a comment for her family in the Guestbook.

All I can say is, 'We Stand All Amazed!"

Click Link: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/ariellahorne/journal

Big Brother Jake & Baby Ariella

BABY ARIELLA UPDATE-Responds To Touch!

Today is day #14 since the accident. This morning Ariella's reflex to pain and touch has returned! The doctor was checking her reflexes, as she does every morning and usually never receives a response, but today she was startled by movement! She said it's a good sign, but can sometimes happen on it's own, but it gives her hope. We however, are not startled as we know our Heavenly Father is closely watching over her and has His hand on her healing.

Okay all you Prayer Warriors, continue to pray for *increased response,*breathing on her own, *she will open her eyes & *wake up COMPLETELY healthy! We stand together in Faith & Trust during little Angel Ariella's Healing! Our Lord is Faithful & Capable of ALL MIRACLES!

Mommy Megan & Her Angel Ariella

 I also wanted to share with you Nana Charlene's recent update of more good news!

"Last night I dropped in to see baby Ari after a long day. Nathan's sister Michelle was there and Kathi Riddle, they told me to watch baby Ari's toes. To my amazement she was moving them. Just a little wiggle. Both feet! It was so sweet. We see you baby, we know you are there wanting to come back to us. They said she had been doing it for the last few hours. I was expecting the doctors to tell Megan this morning it was just spontaneous movement like earlier in the week, with other movement (they like to dash our hope like that.) But this morning when the Doctor came in to do rounds and did the typical pain test of pinching, Ariella responded. She is reacting to pain! Today is day #14. We are no longer calling it a coma, we are calling this a healing slumber. Our baby is trying to come back, through the prayers and faith of many. It will be in the Lord's time, not in our time. This is a tiny step in the right direction.  I am so grateful for the faith and prayers from you all. In Him all things are possible."

RIP Drew Conahan-You'll Be Missed!

Last Sunday a group of us went out for lunch after church. It was just a normal Sunday but it was unusual for so many people to go out and eat together afterward. Drew Conahan, a friend that grew up with my hubby decided to join us, which rarely happened.

Now to explain Drew is a little difficult, he was quite a character to say the least. I told my hubby, "Drew doesn't have a filter." He said, "What do you mean?" "Well, when he thinks something he says it. It just spills out, unlike most of us who filter what we say," I replied.

But that was Drew, he never held anything back. He loved to play jokes on everyone, had a crazy laugh that made others chuckle & an incredibly big heart. He tried to hide it behind a tough, gruff exterior...but if you were lucky enough to get to really know him, you'd see that it was a cover up. He was very sensitive & often felt remorse for his, "lack of filter." He just wore his emotions on his sleeve.

One day at church, my hubby, (Anthony), played a joke on Drew and pulled right up to his car bumper so they were touching. Anthony thought it was really funny & would be able to get a quick rise out of Drew (which they both loved to do to each other-both are hot heads!) Well it worked. Drew, an avid Green Bay Packers fan, had a Packers license plate mounted on the front of his bumper, which was completely bent and ruined by Anthony's joke. When my hubby went inside church, Drew ran out, got in Anthony's car & took EVERYTHING out of the glove box, papers, folders and anything else he could find and threw them everywhere inside the car. And so it went...back and forth!

On Sunday as we sat and ate, he cracked a few jokes at people, and his face instantly lighting up...his softer side shining through as he talked about how he met the love of his life, his wife Gloria, sitting on a bus one day while going to work. He struck up a conversation with her and asked her out. He said that he was surprised she agreed. Then joked about the fact that after they had been dating a while, she said, "You tricked me, I thought you were really a blond!" We all squirmed a little, but once he belted out his distinguished, Hee Hee Hee Hee, laugh, we couldn't help but join in.

As we were getting ready to leave, the guys began teasing him about his fancy church shoes. He made a few remarks back, then, Hee Hee Hee Hee, laughed it off. He walked over to my son Elijah and me, gave us each a hug (this coming from a guy who HATED hugs & told anyone who ever tried to..."I DON'T HUG!") Then he looked at us very sincerely & said, "This was really nice, I had a great time hanging out with you guys today." I waited for a wise crack remark afterwards, but he just looked at us happily and smiled.

"We enjoyed it too Drew," I said, caught off guard by the hug and seriousness of his comment.

That was the last time we saw Drew.

Yesterday, we got a call that he had fallen off a scaffolding at work and was killed. It's so unbelievable that just 5 days ago we were all having a wonderful Sunday lunch. Just like that...he was called home to his Heavenly Father & Savior, Jesus Christ.

It struck me hard that none of us is promised tomorrow. We all need to make an effort to make each day count. You never know when it might be the last time you see someone. Drew's final prayer request that he wrote last Sunday was for a couple of friends. One in particular who was working with him. He wasn't thinking of himself. He was making sure his friends accepted Jesus Christ. It was very important that he knew the people he cared about would be saved after they left this earth. He truly had a heart for people and worried about them.

RIP Drew Conahan, you are home...but we will miss you our friend!

Here is Drew's favorite song, "The Old Rugged Cross"

Handling Disappointments

I received an e-mail today from a writer for FIRST MAGAZINE. I have been working with her for a couple of weeks about using a true story I wrote for their magazine. She actually contacted me out of the blue after reading my story on a website. I was really excited, and after she continued to contact me asking for more information etc...to present the story to her editors, I began to get very hopeful. Today I received an email saying that they wont be able to use my story...I was really disappointed! I always wanted to have something I've written published...I'm not disciplined enough to finish a book, so the little short stories I do have been my only opportunity.

For most of my life I would always focus on the negative, then if something good happened I would be pleasantly surprised. I HATED to be let down...which was the case most of my life. I have changed a lot in the last couple of years. I now look at disappointments as opportunities! Once I got over the initial feelings of sadness that they didn't want my story...I thought, now maybe I can make a book out of this. It's a very touching and encouraging story and should be told. I believe things happen for a reason...I just have to trust and know that my life, (the good and the bad) is pushing me toward Heavenly Father's perfect plan for me...it's about faith, trust and most of all PATIENCE!

GOOD NEWS!!!

First and foremost I want to thank ALL of you SO much for your encouraging comments, and prayers! It was amazing to me how many friends and family "showed up" with love and support. We often think of blogging as just a past time, something that's fun and often meaningless. However, when things go wrong or you're struggling, all of your "blogging friends" are the first one's to be there for you. The comments you left were uplifting, inspiring, and encouraging...THANK YOU!!

Now, about my good news...I made an appointment with the Orthopedic Specialist today first thing this morning. Luckily they were able to get me in today. He checked everything out and said it appears to be just a bad sprain/strain of the Achilles tendon. He said he will probably be able to completely walk on it again in a week and a half or so. They took his cast off and we just have it wrapped with an ace bandage. He is able to put a little bit of weight on it. They didn't do an MRI because he didn't show any signs of a tear. He said if he does not improve as expected to bring him back in, but he thinks he will be as good as new. He was amazed that he only received that slight injury after a bike vs. car accident.

Once again, I am the most grateful and thankful mom in the whole world! When things go wrong in one area of our lives...Heavenly Father is standing right beside us, holding our hand, wiping our tears, carrying us, and watching over us. May we always remember that we do not need to go through troubles and trials alone. Jesus died for us...his love is greater than any problem, hurt, anger, or fearful situation. Just let go and TRUST, you will be amazed at the miracles that will happen in your life!

Matthew 7:7-8
Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.
For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.