Saturday, June 23, 2012

Mixed Emotions

Sometimes days start out one way and end another. I had a great day at work...the owner gave my manager & I his credit card & told us to have lunch on him. I had a delicious filet mignon, mashed potatoes & veggies for $10.00 at Pascal in Fashion Island (they have a $10.00 menu before 6:30 pm.) Then we stopped and got some Gelato Paradiso. By the time we got back to work it was time for me to go home (now that's what I call a perfect work day:D

At 6:00 p.m. my son Elijah had a 7 on 7 game against the Edison Alumni (he got 2 picks). I was on picture duty as usual, but I love puts me right in the middle of the action. By the time I got home, things were all good. But after I received a phone call, my day quickly turned. I had a little melt down. I'm not a crier AT ALL. I'm a pretty tough cookie who holds things in. I usually just suck it up and  "deal with it." But every once in a while, something can strike a cord with me and after the phone conversation, I couldn't hold it in.

On the rare occasions I do break down I try to make sure I'm all alone. But the tears started to come and my hubby was in the room. I kept trying to hold them back, but they slowly trickled down. Eventually he caught on and since it's such a rare occasion, he wasn't quite sure how to react. Poor guy. He came over to give me a hug & I said, "No'll only make me cry more." So he just kind of stood there looking at me. Then kept asking, "What's wrong?" I finally broke down and told him my feelings were hurt (another thing I never want to admit.) He was so sweet he just listened (*something he's been working on~guys try to fix things but girls usually just want their man to listen.)

Sometimes feelings flare up and cause, moments, and I was definitely having my moment. After I had a good cry, he said, "Can I hug you now?" I let him this time. He then asked if he could pray with me. Of course I said yes. I felt much better after he finished. I have to admit, I don't like having a girl moment at all. But sometimes it's just unavoidable.

I was thinking how fickle our emotions are...up and down...back and forth...round and round. The one thing that's certain, even though our perfect days may not end up perfect...things ALWAYS get better. So as I write this, yes my feelings were hurt. Yes, I lost it for a moment. Do I need to dwell on it, no. Emotions can take us on a roller coaster ride. Emotions can control our reality if we let it. It's good to let things out, but our emotions can't always be trusted. They blow in and out like the passing of the wind. Don't get lost in the emotion of the moment. My boss told me her friend who had cancer always used to say, "Breathe in...breathe out...move on."

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