Monday, September 7, 2009

Is It Broken? WARNING GROSS POST!

I'm not sure if it's broken...but it has been a long time since one of my "incidents." When I was single I went through a serious of crazy mishaps, and now I'm at it again...this makes #5!

WARNING KIND OF GROSS!

The First One: I was vacuuming when something shot out of the back of the vacuum and hit my foot. I thought it was a small pebble and never even looked down. My foot started burning and throbbing. I reached down and saw something silver sticking out just below my 2nd & 3rd toe. I tried to pull at it when it began moving deep under the skin about an inch below the initial place it inserted. A picture nail had shot into my foot via the vacuum. After x-rays at the ER to determine if it went into the bone (which it didn't), I endured a VERY painful shot between my toes to remove it. While the doctor joked, "What are the odds of that? That's like winning the lotto or something!"

Like this but not all the way through

2nd One: On a raining day, I had just dropped my kids off at the sitter's and was running late as usual. I was jogging back to my car, when I slipped and fell sideways onto an iron fence. I was hanging half way over the fence with the metal corner stuck in my rib. I had a hard time, but I lifted myself off, wondering if I broke my rib but hurried on to work. Once inside the bank, my boss said, "What happened to you? You have blood all over your shirt." So they drove me to the hospital, nothing was broken just a deep rib bruise and cut.

OUCH!

3rd One: Driving to work, trying to finish putting on my makeup, I had an eyelash curler attached to my lashes. The car in front of me slammed on their brakes, causing me to hit mine. My hand jerked away from my eye in one swift motion, completely ripping off my entire lashes. I screamed in pain, looking into the mirror in horror at my BALD, swollen eyelid! My lashes still perfectly lined up in my eyelash curler. Putting it into my pocket, I arrive at work covering my eye...which by now was almost swollen shut. My boss said, "Oh no, what now?" Everyone was getting used to my "incidents." I reached into my pocket and pulled out the curler with my lashes still attached yelling, "LOOK!" Simultaneously uncovering my hideous, bald eyelid. Everyone started laughing as they grabbed their stomach's and fell to the ground in hysterics. I became an expert at attaching individual false eyelashes until mine grew back.

WORSE THAN THIS & SWOLLEN!

4th One: On a hot summer day I decided to barbecue. It was a gas one, so I hit the button...nothing. I read the instructions which said to hit it three times and try again. As I hit it, a flame shot out, catching my hair and face on fire. I immediately hit my face & hair putting it out quickly. I ran into the house to the mirror, looking at black smudges all over my face. I was pretty lucky, my skin hadn't burned (thank goodness for my thick layer of MAC makeup!) But my eyebrows & eyelashes were white and burned. My waste length blonde hair, singed, and crumbled to the ground as I touched it, crying.

I think you get it....

10 years later.......

AND NUMBER FIVE: This Saturday morning (Labor Day Weekend), I jumped in the shower to get ready for our bike ride down to the beach, lunch & a movie. As I was getting out, I put all my weight on my right foot, missing the bathroom rug. It slipped out from under me, sliding directly into the door. The top of my foot lodging under the door behind the force of all of my weight (picture someone sliding into home plate). The top of my foot took the entire force, stopping only when it couldn't fit any further under the door. It was immediately black & blue & swollen. I haven't been able to put any weight on it.

I called my Dr. who said the ER has a 5 hour wait but I can go to the Hoag Health Center or wait until Tuesday when they're back in the office. I know the health center couldn't take x-ray's and even if they could, a lot of times they can't see a break until the swelling goes down. I've decided to wait until Tuesday. I still can't put weight on it...I think it's probably broken.

I guess I should be thankful I haven't had an "incident" in 10 years, but it's ruined my whole long weekend...WHAT A CLUTZ!

20 comments:

Bridgette said...

Bless your heart! I have never heard of someone having so many accidents. I hope that your foot is okay. You need to be more careful... :) I hope your week gets better. Just dropping in from SITS to check on you.

Helen McGinn said...

OH. MY. GAWD!!!!!!!!!!

Hon, are you OK?? That is just awful!

Is it wrong that I was in hysterics at the eyelash one? I can't even begin to imagine how I would feel if I lost my eyelashes! I could never look at my Shu Uemura curlers the same way again...and gosh, do I love them.

Really feeling your pain on that one...on all of them though. Let us know how you are...and stay away from sharp objects.....

Lisa Petrarca said...

LOL...I know Helen, I even laughed at myself for the eyelash one! It was a constant joke..."What's going to happen to you today?"

I think I need to stay in a padded room until I'm sure this isn't the beginning of more "Incidents!"

MelRoXx said...

Wow! now thats a record! LoL!

I'll pray for you!

Blessings!

KC Mom said...

I am seriously cringing. Oh man. They could make movies off of your mishaps!

Amethyst Moon said...

So Sorry!
I must sy I cringed when reading #3. I work in auto insurance and once saw a claim where a woman was rearended while ptting on mascara and the mascara brush pierced her eye. Thank goodness, you didn't lose your eye, but I hope all ladies will stop putting on makeup at stop lights!

Hope your foot heals fast.

Stopped by from SITS.
htt://lifemusiclaughter.blogspot.com

Cherie said...

Oh gosh! I'm cringing and laughing all at the same time! I'm so sorry about your foot! A padded room probably is sounding pretty good about now.

~Trish~ said...

Dear lord girlfriend LOL I have to admit, I scrolled through this post VERY slowly cuz I thought for sure there was going to be a gross picture LOL

Hope you get to feeling better!!

LoriAnn said...

Oh no!!! How awful! My daughter is accident prone like that too. Myself? I am just unlucky and have strange things happen, but I usually do not get injured in the process! Just end up embarassing myself to no end.

Also, is there a way to get in touch with Warren, a valid way, rather than relying on what you find on the net? I know someone from CA who seems to need hlep for their son. Are you still in this line of work at all? Sorry to bother you about this, but I feel bad for this family. I figure the worst I can get is a "no". Please direct message me through twitter (troyboy40) or e-mail at whitmansghost2008@yahoo.com. Thanks and feel better soon!!

~Trish~ said...

Lisa...the pics...just wrong LOL hahaha I'm laughing now :P

Design it Chic said...

Oh my, you can make a movie out of your "incidents" and call it "The Unlucky One" or "Stay the heck away from me":))) Oh boy..I'm laughing my socks off imagining the cartoon-ish you.. but i bet in reality it was bad.. so i hope everything's gonna be fine after all! Oh and i go to my doctor today too..come check the randomness and you'll find out the whole story!

* fellow SITSta here!

Gina Newberry said...

OHhhhhh.... Why did I feel the NEED to look even despite warnings? OUCHHHH! That makes my stomach hurt!! What a great sense of humor you have... you gotta laugh right? Bless you girlfriend.

~From another friend in the SITSterhood.

Kitty said...

Oh my Gosh! I hope you are ok. Fingers crossed for you!

OHN said...

I found you through Meaghan and when I saw you said "gross" in the title, I had to look (kinda like the wreck on the highway that you can't NOT look at).

Anyway, I hope you are incident free the whole rest of the week. :)

...love Maegan said...

OH MY GOD THE HORRORS!!

Gabrielle said...

OMG, That is crazy. I would have passed out for sure! Hey, from SITS!

StacyB said...

You may catch up to me yet!

Cindy @ Chalk it Up! said...

OH My Gosh!! You poor thing! I had to look away! I read your more recent post. I'm glad you are feeling better. No more vacuuming for you! Boy am I glad I don't participate in such a dangerous activity. The next time someone asks me if I vacuum I'll show them this post!

Visiting from SITS!
Have a pain free day:)

Bethany said...

Oh my gosh!!!! Those are absolutely crazy stories-- you need to be careful (says the girl who stabbed her thumb with a knife and then put her arm down on a hot oven resulting in a 2nd degree burn....)

Lacey said...

oh my! I'm speechless. Stopping by from sits.

www.heritagemakers.com/373474