Is It Broken? WARNING GROSS POST!

I'm not sure if it's broken...but it has been a long time since one of my "incidents." When I was single I went through a serious of crazy mishaps, and now I'm at it again...this makes #5!

WARNING KIND OF GROSS!

The First One: I was vacuuming when something shot out of the back of the vacuum and hit my foot. I thought it was a small pebble and never even looked down. My foot started burning and throbbing. I reached down and saw something silver sticking out just below my 2nd & 3rd toe. I tried to pull at it when it began moving deep under the skin about an inch below the initial place it inserted. A picture nail had shot into my foot via the vacuum. After x-rays at the ER to determine if it went into the bone (which it didn't), I endured a VERY painful shot between my toes to remove it. While the doctor joked, "What are the odds of that? That's like winning the lotto or something!"

Like this but not all the way through

2nd One: On a raining day, I had just dropped my kids off at the sitter's and was running late as usual. I was jogging back to my car, when I slipped and fell sideways onto an iron fence. I was hanging half way over the fence with the metal corner stuck in my rib. I had a hard time, but I lifted myself off, wondering if I broke my rib but hurried on to work. Once inside the bank, my boss said, "What happened to you? You have blood all over your shirt." So they drove me to the hospital, nothing was broken just a deep rib bruise and cut.

OUCH!

3rd One: Driving to work, trying to finish putting on my makeup, I had an eyelash curler attached to my lashes. The car in front of me slammed on their brakes, causing me to hit mine. My hand jerked away from my eye in one swift motion, completely ripping off my entire lashes. I screamed in pain, looking into the mirror in horror at my BALD, swollen eyelid! My lashes still perfectly lined up in my eyelash curler. Putting it into my pocket, I arrive at work covering my eye...which by now was almost swollen shut. My boss said, "Oh no, what now?" Everyone was getting used to my "incidents." I reached into my pocket and pulled out the curler with my lashes still attached yelling, "LOOK!" Simultaneously uncovering my hideous, bald eyelid. Everyone started laughing as they grabbed their stomach's and fell to the ground in hysterics. I became an expert at attaching individual false eyelashes until mine grew back.

WORSE THAN THIS & SWOLLEN!

4th One: On a hot summer day I decided to barbecue. It was a gas one, so I hit the button...nothing. I read the instructions which said to hit it three times and try again. As I hit it, a flame shot out, catching my hair and face on fire. I immediately hit my face & hair putting it out quickly. I ran into the house to the mirror, looking at black smudges all over my face. I was pretty lucky, my skin hadn't burned (thank goodness for my thick layer of MAC makeup!) But my eyebrows & eyelashes were white and burned. My waste length blonde hair, singed, and crumbled to the ground as I touched it, crying.

I think you get it....

10 years later.......

AND NUMBER FIVE: This Saturday morning (Labor Day Weekend), I jumped in the shower to get ready for our bike ride down to the beach, lunch & a movie. As I was getting out, I put all my weight on my right foot, missing the bathroom rug. It slipped out from under me, sliding directly into the door. The top of my foot lodging under the door behind the force of all of my weight (picture someone sliding into home plate). The top of my foot took the entire force, stopping only when it couldn't fit any further under the door. It was immediately black & blue & swollen. I haven't been able to put any weight on it.

I called my Dr. who said the ER has a 5 hour wait but I can go to the Hoag Health Center or wait until Tuesday when they're back in the office. I know the health center couldn't take x-ray's and even if they could, a lot of times they can't see a break until the swelling goes down. I've decided to wait until Tuesday. I still can't put weight on it...I think it's probably broken.

I guess I should be thankful I haven't had an "incident" in 10 years, but it's ruined my whole long weekend...WHAT A CLUTZ!