The Loss of Daul

Photos of Model Daul Kim

Four months ago I stumbled across Daul Kim's Blog through Models.com. Daul was a famous Korean Model who was also a very talented painter. She wrote for a magazine and made frequent television appearances.

I've been following & commenting on Daul’s Blog regularly. Her deep sadness and sorrow was evident in her writing. I felt a sense of protectiveness because of her vulnerability. I always tried to write uplifting things to encourage her. She never responded but she did visit my Blog several times. I continued to feel the need to read her writings daily...I wanted to help her in some way. Trying to reach her deep lonliness. I last left a message on November 8th. Nothing inspirational or encouraging just idle talk. I clicked on her Blog late Wednesday night the 18th (her final post)...but never left a comment. She had posted a You Tube video with techno music and a final post: "say hi to...forever."

Upon hearing of her passing I felt such a deep sorrow. She was not only beautiful, but a deep, passionate & intelligent person. Reports say she was found hanging in her Paris apartment on November 19th by her boyfriend.

What could have been said to help her and change this? What did everyone around her miss?

My answer would have to be…no one ever knows the extent of someone’s depression. They become masters at hiding the pain behind humor. The mask that is worn is often a perfect disguise. But the writings tell of something deeper. We each need to really LISTEN to those around us who may be secretly crying out.

You will be missed Daul.

My prayers go out to her family and friends. Such an incredible loss of a beautiful, talented and intelligent, 20 year old girl with her whole life ahead of her.

Wouldn't Ya Know It!

Today was my first day back to work after my "isolation" last week with my son in the hospital. My neck was KILLING me all day...don't worry it's not meningitis, it's something much worse......OLD AGE! Sleeping on those hospital chair/foldout beds has my neck so messed up.

Driving home from work I remembered that my wonderful husband gave me a gift certificate to my favorite massage therapy place. I was thinking about it the whole way home from work as I kept reaching back to massage the huge lumps lining my vertebrae trying to ease my throbbing headache.

I picked up Elijah from school, drove a little too fast trying to get home to change and head over to get some relief. Elijah chatted away (he's actually excited to be back at school after his hospital stay). In the hospital one day he told me, "Mom, I'm tired of "OLD PEOPLE" conversation, I need to talk to my friends." "What are you talking about...I'm a young, cool mom!" I quickly shot back a little hurt that he thinks I'm old AND boring! "Well sorry but you are old now and we've spent to much time together this week," he replied with a smirk trying to make it seem like a joke. "Whatever Lije, you should be happy your not staying here all alone, and I know I'm a fun mom so you can't fool me!" He is a smart boy and left it at that.

Now where was I? Did I mention that I only got four hours of sleep last night? I'm out of my calcium magnesium, which is a natural cure to help you sleep, along with my neck pain. Okay sorry, I'm all over the place today!

So I get home check my e-mails change into my comfortable clothes, jump in the car and head over already visualizing how I will fall asleep during the massage and kill two birds with one stone. I go inside and see two ladies in front of me, "Sorry we are running a little behind can you come back at five?" says the man behind the counter. I'm a little worried...I don't have an appt. and for some reason they seem to be really busy. I ask him if he has any openings. "No, not today, we started running specials, 1 hr. massage for $20.00 on Tuesdays if you bring a friend. We have been really booked up." I YIGH YIGH...wouldn't ya know it!