Controlling the Control Freak

I tend to be a bit of a control freak...anticipating each and every possible scenario and looking for ways to shape it into the ideal situation. I usually am only like this with my immediate family.

I don't know, I think it's a protection thing...a mother's instinct.

When presented with certain trials, I work out all the different angles in my mind and then try to figure out the best course of action. I know that I can be a bit overbearing at times, but I just want to spare my family any unnecessary hurt and pain.

My son had to meet with some people today and I was a little leary of the whole thing due to a recent situation that happened leading up to this meeting.

I sat at home last night before the big meeting worrying the entire situation to death in my mind. At one point letting my emotions bring me to tears.

How can I protect my child if these people decide to hurt him emotionally?

A part of me wanted to call the whole thing off. Avoidance sometimes seems better than the unknown, endless possibilities that your mind can create when left to it's own devices.

I'm lucky to have such a wonderful husband. Who offered me his words of wisdom.

Lis, just let it go. It's out of your hands. There is nothing you can do, it is something that your son wants and needs to happen. Let go of all of your fear, hurt and what if's...turn it completely over to God and let him handle it.

He prayed with me & can I tell you how much peace I had immediately! The weight was lifted, I knew that the Lord heard our prayers and would work it all out.

I then continued to pray for the people who were to meet with my son. I prayed that they would open their hearts & minds and see what an amazing person he is.

He called me after it was done to say that it went well and that he thought they were really nice. He could tell they were just as nervous as he was.

I've decided to really work on controlling the control freak in me. When situations seem unbearable, when I feel myself losing it, I'm going to stop and immediately pray.

It's amazing how the Lord comforts and lifts the burdens.

A Child's Final Super Bowl

We had a very emotional day yesterday. Jullien called me to run him over to the hospital because one of our friends son had just passed away. I was in shock, tried to wrap up the work I was right in the middle of, but my brain was in a fog. I kept thinking, "It can't be true, he'll be okay."

When we arrived at the hospital, there were tons of people there from the high school already, standing and crying in the hall. It was just unbelievable...a 16 year old isn't supposed to die. We have known the family for years. Our kids have played on rival baseball teams and on the same All Star Team for several years in a row.

The dad and his two sons had just returned from their "DREAM COME TRUE" Superbowl. They have been die hard Steelers fans since we first met them. Not just any typical fan...they had flags flying around their house, on their motor home, cars and the dad wore his Steelers jacket year round. They had gone to the game and had the time of their lives...they got to see their beloved Steelers win the Superbowl in person.

The oldest son had been sick and yesterday in the early morning hours was vomiting. His little brother found him unconscious on the bathroom floor. They had revived him at the hospital a few times but eventually were unable to.

They held a candlelight vigil for him last night with over 100 people from the community attending. It was an incredible outpouring of love. The parents attended and thanked everyone for their love and support. They are just in complete shock. I couldn't believe they were even able to show up, I don't think I could have.

Later that evening as I got ready for bed I couldn't help but think about the things that keep me awake at night. All of the worrying over bills, money, my schedule, work...these things are all meaningless. Our kids, spouse, parents, brothers/sisters, grandparents- FAMILY, FRIENDS AND GOOD HEALTH is the only thing that really matters in this world.

Make sure you stop and put your priorities straight today. Hug your kids and family members, tell them you love them, stop stressing and worrying over the unimportant things of this life. This could be the last day you have them...did you waste your time on worrying, instead of building a loving relationship with the people who mean the most to you. My friends would give up everything they have in this world to be able to hug, kiss and talk to their child again.

I needed to be reminded of this and I know a lot of you probably do too.

SURE

One of the owner's of the company I work for loves to play a game with my boss. Whenever he asks, "Lisa can you do me a favor?" He likes me to say, "SURE!" Then he looks at my boss, "See Marsh, that's how you're supposed to answer!" So it's this on going little game that just cracks him up and Marsha plays along and acts disgusted. This goes on at least once a day...sometimes more.

I got to thinking about that simple, one word answer...S U R E. Why would that one little word make him so happy? I thought about how often we are put in difficult situations, forced to get a new job, move to a new home or step outside of our comfort zone, what if you always responded with...SURE. No second guessing, worrying, doubting...just SURE! What if you knew that you HAD to say SURE! Do you think you would face your fears and conquer them? Would you climb that mountain, chase that dream, overcome that pain from the past, trust God's plan and purpose for your life?

Think about it, a small word but packed with a lot of power. This is a word that the dictionary describes as:

Sure: (1) confident in what one thinks or knows (2) having a certain prospect or confident anticipation of (3) certain to do something (4) true beyond any doubt

When you are faced with a difficult situation, try saying this strong word...S U R E! Once you say it, you somehow feel more optimistic, positive, and confident. Can you do it? S URE you can!!!

"And whatever things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive."
Matthew 21:22

WHY DO I GO TO THAT PLACE!

I'm not sure if any of you find yourselves visiting THAT PLACE? I tend to stop by on special occassions. This weekend was one of those little visits...it was quite a bit shorter than my usual stops. In my younger days the visits would be quite often and a lot longer. I was very good at sneaking around once I was there, trying to avoid the inevitable...staying for WAY too long!

Now that I've gotten a little older, I've figure out when I start to get nervous, anxious or edgy...it's time to grab hold of myself...AND LEAVE IMMEDIATELY! I HATE THAT PLACE!! Well on Sunday while I was getting ready, I felt it start to come on. I pushed the feelings aside and decided to prepare a little before I left so I would be ready. I read and tried to figure out as much information as I could, preparation helps a little.

I grabbed my camera said a little prayer and headed out the door. My initial instinct was to avoid THAT PLACE...I was doing really good, relaxed somewhat prepared...closer and closer, almost there and feeling pretty good. Picked up my husband, we started talking and then it started! I began to get edgy, everything he was saying was bugging me. He was a little startled at my demeanor and said in his gruff Italian, East Coast way, "What's the matter with you?" "Oh be quiet...you're BUGGING ME! I shot back. "WHATEVER...you were fine and now you're out of control," he replied, continuing to stir the pot.

Yep, this is pretty typical for us, when one of us starts...IT'S ON!LOL! We are both feisty, strong willed and hate to be wrong. It's nice to meet your match though, we both tend to be overbearing so it's fun to spar...that's what we like to call it. We've been married for 8 years and together for 10 so I guess it works for us.

Reaching our final destination only intensified the feelings. I need everything to be PERFECT...there it is, I've arrived at that dreaded place...MY SELF DOUBT! I just want it to go away! It's better but still lingers when I want everything to go right. I am the official church photographer...which I LOVE and feel such a sense of satisfaction. But today was baptism day...they were doing it at the beach and wanted great pictures to send with their baptism certificates. I feel pretty confident with my action and spur of the moment shots. But this is a VERY special day! I would be up against direct sunlight...which always makes the subject look dark.

I was hoping there would be a back up camera just in case mine didn't turn out, but there wasn't. I got to the beach and started taking test shots to get it right before the big event. I think they came out okay (could be better, but I'll keep working at it). But why do I have to go THERE all the time? I hate that I am such a perfectionist...it makes me doubt myself constantly...I even start to make excuses and tell people before I get started...just in case it's not good. WHY DO I GO THERE?

You can check them out...http://www.flickr.com/photos/fastframe/sets/72157607325474369/
Hit Slideshow (top right) watch it and only leave a comment if you have something nice to say...I've stressed myself out enough!LOL!

I Went To The Police

I went to the police to report the incident from my previous Blog...I was a little leery due to the fact that I didn't have a license plate number. My son and I went in and I started to tell one officer...but he looked disinterested and kept looking at the clock over my head. I was halfway through my story (which I don't think he even heard)...when all of a sudden he said, "My shifts over, please have a seat and someone will be down in a minute to hear your story." At this point I'm feeling a little stupid, but I'm determined to have someone listen...hoping to save a child from a possible kidnap attempt.

The next guy starts listening to my story and then proceeds to start looking directly behind me...I turned around to see if the clock was mesmerizing him too. A guy with long, bushy black hair, was walking toward the bathroom. Knowing that he wasn't listening, I just stopped and said, "Do you need to go check out the situation or something?" He goes, "Uh no, go ahead." As I tried to get the point across that the men were targeting my son...he kept trying to make it about me. He said,"You need to make sure you carry your cell phone, don't jog alone, be aware of your surroundings, and get a license plate number." I said, "I know all of that, but they weren't after me, they were after my son and I'm worried that they might try to take other children."

He said, "Give me a description of the cars and when I'm out on the streets tonight I will be on the lookout." I told him, "It was two Hispanic men, one in his late 40's to early 50's the other was younger in his 20's or 30's. The older man was driving a light metallic gold Honda accord, a late 90's model. The younger guy was in a white old Chevy van with different color stripes on it." He said, "Okay, thanks, and what's your name?" I told him and left...he never wrote anything down or took a report.

I felt pretty frustrated as I left, he just didn't seem to get the fact that they were targeting my son and not me. On a positive note...I've eased my conscious and at least tried to get a warning out to the community.