Whew! It’s been forever since I’ve posted. I think I’ve let social media consume me, posting all my pics and stories there. But tonight, as I sat struggling with some family issues, I realized my blog offered a whole other outlet. It’s more like a diary of sorts.
So here goes:
Dear Diary,
I have a heavy heart. Our adopted son is in a season of struggling. To be honest I shouldn’t be surprised, it was bound to happen at some point, right? It’s just strange because everything’s been going relatively smoothly the past 5 years since he came into our lives at the age of 12. Obviously there’s been some hiccups and issues to work through, but I thought at 17...we’d made it through any seasons of major trials.
Well I was wrong. We’re in the thick of it. And when things begin to unravel in your child’s life, you begin to wonder,
“Where did I go wrong?”
“What did I or didn’t I do?”
“Have I failed him in an area?”
“Did I not show enough love or spend enough time?”
You get the point, I can go on for days about the different thoughts and feelings that run through my mind.
So tonight as we sat and talked at dinner, I decided to ask him. I wanted to know if I’ve failed him in some way, if there’s something he needs that I’m not doing. What can I do to make things better? I let him know that I wanted to apologize if I have let him down, because as a parent, I’m not perfect and make mistakes too.
He didn’t tell me anything specific that I’d done wrong, but that conversation opened up the flood gates. It allowed him to feel safe enough to let out some very difficult personal things (he had a very rough childhood and had been in and out of the foster care system). The things he shared made me realize that he needs more help than I can offer.
And that’s okay.
I can’t be all.
I can’t do all.
And I need to remember...it’s not all about me anyways.
But with the information he provided, I can do something to get him to the right people who can help. I can lift him up to The LORD in prayer daily.
My son has had it rough. And while I’ve only had him for a short period of time, relatively speaking, I can’t magically erase the past for him (while I wish I could). So I’m thankful The LORD helped my normally closed off, reclusive son, open up (because you know I was silently praying for help to say the right things and ask the right questions.)
Adoption isn’t always smooth and easy. The trials and baggage that come along with these precious children can be difficult. But through it all, nothing is more gratifying than sharing your life and love with a child GOD has placed in your care.
It’s going to be okay...GOD is in the business of moving mountains of impossible.
Showing posts with label child. Show all posts
Showing posts with label child. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 15, 2018
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
A Child's Final Super Bowl
We had a very emotional day yesterday. Jullien called me to run him over to the hospital because one of our friends son had just passed away. I was in shock, tried to wrap up the work I was right in the middle of, but my brain was in a fog. I kept thinking, "It can't be true, he'll be okay."
When we arrived at the hospital, there were tons of people there from the high school already, standing and crying in the hall. It was just unbelievable...a 16 year old isn't supposed to die. We have known the family for years. Our kids have played on rival baseball teams and on the same All Star Team for several years in a row.
The dad and his two sons had just returned from their "DREAM COME TRUE" Superbowl. They have been die hard Steelers fans since we first met them. Not just any typical fan...they had flags flying around their house, on their motor home, cars and the dad wore his Steelers jacket year round. They had gone to the game and had the time of their lives...they got to see their beloved Steelers win the Superbowl in person.
The oldest son had been sick and yesterday in the early morning hours was vomiting. His little brother found him unconscious on the bathroom floor. They had revived him at the hospital a few times but eventually were unable to.
They held a candlelight vigil for him last night with over 100 people from the community attending. It was an incredible outpouring of love. The parents attended and thanked everyone for their love and support. They are just in complete shock. I couldn't believe they were even able to show up, I don't think I could have.
Later that evening as I got ready for bed I couldn't help but think about the things that keep me awake at night. All of the worrying over bills, money, my schedule, work...these things are all meaningless. Our kids, spouse, parents, brothers/sisters, grandparents- FAMILY, FRIENDS AND GOOD HEALTH is the only thing that really matters in this world.
Make sure you stop and put your priorities straight today. Hug your kids and family members, tell them you love them, stop stressing and worrying over the unimportant things of this life. This could be the last day you have them...did you waste your time on worrying, instead of building a loving relationship with the people who mean the most to you. My friends would give up everything they have in this world to be able to hug, kiss and talk to their child again.
I needed to be reminded of this and I know a lot of you probably do too.
When we arrived at the hospital, there were tons of people there from the high school already, standing and crying in the hall. It was just unbelievable...a 16 year old isn't supposed to die. We have known the family for years. Our kids have played on rival baseball teams and on the same All Star Team for several years in a row.
The dad and his two sons had just returned from their "DREAM COME TRUE" Superbowl. They have been die hard Steelers fans since we first met them. Not just any typical fan...they had flags flying around their house, on their motor home, cars and the dad wore his Steelers jacket year round. They had gone to the game and had the time of their lives...they got to see their beloved Steelers win the Superbowl in person.
The oldest son had been sick and yesterday in the early morning hours was vomiting. His little brother found him unconscious on the bathroom floor. They had revived him at the hospital a few times but eventually were unable to.
They held a candlelight vigil for him last night with over 100 people from the community attending. It was an incredible outpouring of love. The parents attended and thanked everyone for their love and support. They are just in complete shock. I couldn't believe they were even able to show up, I don't think I could have.
Later that evening as I got ready for bed I couldn't help but think about the things that keep me awake at night. All of the worrying over bills, money, my schedule, work...these things are all meaningless. Our kids, spouse, parents, brothers/sisters, grandparents- FAMILY, FRIENDS AND GOOD HEALTH is the only thing that really matters in this world.
Make sure you stop and put your priorities straight today. Hug your kids and family members, tell them you love them, stop stressing and worrying over the unimportant things of this life. This could be the last day you have them...did you waste your time on worrying, instead of building a loving relationship with the people who mean the most to you. My friends would give up everything they have in this world to be able to hug, kiss and talk to their child again.
I needed to be reminded of this and I know a lot of you probably do too.
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