Need a Laugh on Monday?

I've been having a rough couple of days. I haven't been able to go to sleep until after 3:00 a.m. for the past week. Then I try to get up and get ready in the morning and I'm knocking things over, bumped into a wall, stabbed myself in the eye with my makeup brush and then........THIS!

My dog (Siberian Husky) lays in the walk ways, sprawled out making us step over her all the time. Normally I'm pretty graceful, stepping carefully over her without a problem. This morning however, in my sleep deprived state, I went to step over her, she moved at the exact same time leaving me nowhere to put my foot as I tried to avoid stepping on her leg.

I had nothing to grab onto as I went completely down, my right arm twisting back to break my fall. Both feet coming off the ground, smacking my butt on the hard wood floor, my back flopping back, landing on the corner of her stinky, hairy bed. I guess I still stepped on her and she started yelling (howling) and charged at me as I lay on my back, legs in the air, eyes wide staring directly into hers. She seemed scared and confused, wondering why I stepped on her and then had the nerve to lay on her bed!

I started yelling at her and then quickly jumped up, afraid my husband or son would walk in, while I lay sprawled out on the dogs bed and start laughing at me...paying me back for always making fun of them when they fall. Just thought you would all love to get the visual and start your Monday off with a laugh!

Wouldn't Ya Know It!

Today was my first day back to work after my "isolation" last week with my son in the hospital. My neck was KILLING me all day...don't worry it's not meningitis, it's something much worse......OLD AGE! Sleeping on those hospital chair/foldout beds has my neck so messed up.

Driving home from work I remembered that my wonderful husband gave me a gift certificate to my favorite massage therapy place. I was thinking about it the whole way home from work as I kept reaching back to massage the huge lumps lining my vertebrae trying to ease my throbbing headache.

I picked up Elijah from school, drove a little too fast trying to get home to change and head over to get some relief. Elijah chatted away (he's actually excited to be back at school after his hospital stay). In the hospital one day he told me, "Mom, I'm tired of "OLD PEOPLE" conversation, I need to talk to my friends." "What are you talking about...I'm a young, cool mom!" I quickly shot back a little hurt that he thinks I'm old AND boring! "Well sorry but you are old now and we've spent to much time together this week," he replied with a smirk trying to make it seem like a joke. "Whatever Lije, you should be happy your not staying here all alone, and I know I'm a fun mom so you can't fool me!" He is a smart boy and left it at that.

Now where was I? Did I mention that I only got four hours of sleep last night? I'm out of my calcium magnesium, which is a natural cure to help you sleep, along with my neck pain. Okay sorry, I'm all over the place today!

So I get home check my e-mails change into my comfortable clothes, jump in the car and head over already visualizing how I will fall asleep during the massage and kill two birds with one stone. I go inside and see two ladies in front of me, "Sorry we are running a little behind can you come back at five?" says the man behind the counter. I'm a little worried...I don't have an appt. and for some reason they seem to be really busy. I ask him if he has any openings. "No, not today, we started running specials, 1 hr. massage for $20.00 on Tuesdays if you bring a friend. We have been really booked up." I YIGH YIGH...wouldn't ya know it!

Friday-I Survived

After Thursday's incident I wasn't looking forward to Friday. I think that has to be a first, who doesn't look forward to Friday? I pulled into the parking lot and didn't see my boss's car. He must've had a meeting this morning, I thought with a quick sigh of relief. I hurried up the stairs (I'm always running late...it's a HUGE problem for me.) I took a deep breath, opened the door and silence. I asked Marsha, "Where is everybody?" Oh, one of them is headed up to Mammoth and the other one is sick today. Whew...now I only have to deal with the phone calls (much easier than getting ridiculed in person.)

I asked her if he said anything more about the whole box thing, and she said, "He said that he had looked in that office the day before too and never saw the box, either." Hmmm, at least he admitted to something.

He called in and was being really nice.
Boss: Hey, what are you doing?
Me: Oh you know...me and Marsha are just sitting here getting ready to smoke a big fatty and then try to find some more boxes." I couldn't resist...I had to say something because it had bugged me so much that he made me seem like a moron on drugs.

Boss: Excuse me?
Me: Yep...just getting ready to smoke out.

Boss: (Laughing)...Ooohhh okay you girls have fun and whatever you have to do to feel better is fine with me.
Me: (smiling) Okay...let me get Marsha for you.

I usually try to joke about situations when something is tense and uncomfortable. It just seems like making light of everything always makes the situation seem less stressful. It is something I only do in work situations though, at home, everybody just GETS IT from my mouth! But, since I don't want to get fired...I always hold back at work.

Now I'm looking forward to a relaxing, sleep filled (keep your fingers crossed) weekend.

Sleep Deprivation-Am I A Moron?

I'm back to my insomnia thing again! I have been getting in bed at around 2:30 a.m. It's now Thursday and I feel like a zombie, airhead, spacy girl. I can't believe how stupid the lack of sleep can make you feel. Here's a little example of my work day yesterday and today~

Boss- "Lisa, I need you to find a lease and appraisal report for the 1091BeRe job."
Me- "Okay...no problem." I start looking at all the boxes that are neatly labeled to find the right one. Looking...looking...maybe it's in the extra office. Hmmm...looking...looking, nope. I'll check the bosses office, behind their desks, under their desks, nothing. Now, I KNOW that I had boxed it up a while ago and had even seen it sitting around. Marsha, the office manager starts helping me look too. She double checks all the same places and nothing.

Whew...I was hoping that in my dazed condition that it wasn't just me. So I tell my boss that we can't find it. He gets mad and tells me and Marsha that it has to be somewhere! He wants one of us to go over to the storage unit in the morning to look for it. Marsha thought that he had actually taken the box (he does that sometimes), and asked him to check his car and house for it.

Today, Marsha met him over at the unit and they started re-organizing and getting stuff ready for shredding while they were looking for the missing box. I stayed at the office to label all the year end stuff. I went into the room that we had checked yesterday, and there it was, plain as day. What the heck? I am absolutely positive that it wasn't there yesterday!

I quickly walk over to the phone, pick it up...thinking, here goes, now I get to look like a complete MORON. Marsha answers and I shout, "UH GUESS WHAT? The box is here. I don't know how we could've missed it, it's in huge bold letters and the other boxes aren't!" She yells to my boss to let him know. She said, "He said he wants you to pee in a cup when he gets back." No he wasn't serious, but that's his way of saying...hey dummy!

Now here's the thing...in my present sleep deprived condition, I know "maybe" I could have missed it, but the 46 font Bold lettering makes it highly doubtful. But, Marsha double checking also makes me go HMMMMMM, how did the box magically appear? When she got back she thought the same thing..."He found it and put it in there and didn't want to tell us."

On Thursday's I leave work at 1:00pm and he hadn't gotten back into the office before I left. Let's just say I'm not looking forward to work tomorrow! He is going to be making comments all day to try and make me feel stupid. It sucks not being able to say, "I KNOW WHAT YOU DID AND I WANT YOU TO PEE IN A CUP!"