Sometimes days start out one way and end another. I had a great day at work...the owner gave my manager & I his credit card & told us to have lunch on him. I had a delicious filet mignon, mashed potatoes & veggies for $10.00 at Pascal in Fashion Island (they have a $10.00 menu before 6:30 pm.) Then we stopped and got some Gelato Paradiso. By the time we got back to work it was time for me to go home (now that's what I call a perfect work day:D)
At 6:00 p.m. my son Elijah had a 7 on 7 game against the Edison Alumni (he got 2 picks). I was on picture duty as usual, but I love it...it puts me right in the middle of the action. By the time I got home, things were all good. But after I received a phone call, my day quickly turned. I had a little melt down. I'm not a crier AT ALL. I'm a pretty tough cookie who holds things in. I usually just suck it up and "deal with it." But every once in a while, something can strike a cord with me and after the phone conversation, I couldn't hold it in.
On the rare occasions I do break down I try to make sure I'm all alone. But the tears started to come and my hubby was in the room. I kept trying to hold them back, but they slowly trickled down. Eventually he caught on and since it's such a rare occasion, he wasn't quite sure how to react. Poor guy. He came over to give me a hug & I said, "No hugs...it'll only make me cry more." So he just kind of stood there looking at me. Then kept asking, "What's wrong?" I finally broke down and told him my feelings were hurt (another thing I never want to admit.) He was so sweet he just listened (*something he's been working on~guys try to fix things but girls usually just want their man to listen.)
Sometimes feelings flare up and cause, moments, and I was definitely having my moment. After I had a good cry, he said, "Can I hug you now?" I let him this time. He then asked if he could pray with me. Of course I said yes. I felt much better after he finished. I have to admit, I don't like having a girl moment at all. But sometimes it's just unavoidable.
I was thinking how fickle our emotions are...up and down...back and forth...round and round. The one thing that's certain, even though our perfect days may not end up perfect...things ALWAYS get better. So as I write this, yes my feelings were hurt. Yes, I lost it for a moment. Do I need to dwell on it, no. Emotions can take us on a roller coaster ride. Emotions can control our reality if we let it. It's good to let things out, but our emotions can't always be trusted. They blow in and out like the passing of the wind. Don't get lost in the emotion of the moment. My boss told me her friend who had cancer always used to say, "Breathe in...breathe out...move on."
Showing posts with label crying. Show all posts
Showing posts with label crying. Show all posts
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
American Idol-Who Goes Home 5-13-09
Let me start by saying that I am not one of those ladies who cries easily. However, tonight after listening to Danny Gokey sing, "You Are So Beautiful," by Joe Cocker. It was very weird but I started tearing up. I just kept picturing him singing to his wife who passed away. His voice was amazing, so full of emotion and passion.
Kris Allen did great on his second song, "Heartless," by Kayne West. It was a completely original version of the song. I enjoyed it and agreed with the judges that it put him back in the competition. His first song however was very karaoke (yikes...I sound like the judges!)
Adam Lambert sang, "One" by U2. We all know Adam can sing...but I didn't like this version very much...he seemed to be screaming too much and at one point even stuck out his tongue. I wish he had kept it slow throughout the song. I did enjoy his second song, "Crying," by Aerosmith. I'm sure Steven Tyler would have been proud of Adam's performance...maybe they'll do a duet!
So who goes home? This is a very tough decision for me tonight because they all had great second performances...but I think Kris Allen should go home. I know Kris has a huge fan base, but if it is a SINGING competition, Danny and Adam have stronger voices.
Let me know how you feel?
Kris Allen did great on his second song, "Heartless," by Kayne West. It was a completely original version of the song. I enjoyed it and agreed with the judges that it put him back in the competition. His first song however was very karaoke (yikes...I sound like the judges!)
Adam Lambert sang, "One" by U2. We all know Adam can sing...but I didn't like this version very much...he seemed to be screaming too much and at one point even stuck out his tongue. I wish he had kept it slow throughout the song. I did enjoy his second song, "Crying," by Aerosmith. I'm sure Steven Tyler would have been proud of Adam's performance...maybe they'll do a duet!
So who goes home? This is a very tough decision for me tonight because they all had great second performances...but I think Kris Allen should go home. I know Kris has a huge fan base, but if it is a SINGING competition, Danny and Adam have stronger voices.
Let me know how you feel?
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Can You Hear Me?
Yesterday on a brisk, windy, sunny day we took our dog Allie to the beach. This is always a very special, joyous day for her. She is a Siberian Husky. When you own a husky you're told to never let them off their leash. They have a natural inborn instinct to run. Over the years we have slowly trained her. On our beach visits we let her off the leash. She runs a little ways, jumping, sniffing and playing and then always stops, looks back and waits for us to catch up to her.
This particular day seemed no different than others before it. We strolled along the white, long stretch of sand. The chill of the wind was stinging our faces, as Allie frolicked in the water, chasing dogs and birds. Allie stopped and waited every so often just as she had been trained.
The sun was lowering behind a low patch of fluffy, cotton white clouds, signaling an end to our day. Approaching the part of the beach that we attach Allie to her leash, she abruptly turned and began running the opposite direction. We cried out, "Allie, Allie...STOP, come back here!" She continued to run, farther and farther. Our cries soon becoming muffled, lost in the pounding crash of the waves, beating against the sand.
We continued to walk in the direction she was running. We were certain she would eventually stop, look back and dash towards us. She began to appear as though she was a mirage, to far away to tell if it was really her. I began to run, worried that she might scale the steep cliff and run into the heavy, rush hour traffic on Pacific Coast Highway.
She had slowed down, but was still very far ahead. She now started to approach the few people on the beach, a woman at first, and then a couple. Each time she would walk away. She appeared to realize that she was lost. Walking away from the couple, with no one else around, she stood alone in the middle of the beach, a long isolated view in front of her. I began to get closer as she stood in one place. Her head was faced up towards the orange, red & yellow sky of the setting sun. She was howling, loud piercing cries, crying out because she was scared and lost. She had gone too far and now realized her mistake.
Out of breath, I started to walk, passing a couple that was staring at Allie. The wife looked at me with large, concerned eyes, "Oh, she's crying...she thinks she's lost." Finally close enough for her to hear me I shouted, "Allie, come here, I'm right here!" She quickly stopped her howl, snapped her head down, stared frozen for a moment and sprinted towards me. Her eyes squinting through the blowing wind, tongue hanging out of her mouth, tail wagging, and wait a minute...is that a smile? Can dogs smile? It sure looked like it to me. Reaching me, she jumped up on me and kissed me.
This story sadly represents our walk with the Lord. We are safely beside him, protected, loved and happy. All of a sudden something catches our attention. It looks fun, challenging, exciting...our mind starts to run. Next our body begins to chase after it also. We are going full speed in the wrong direction. Getting caught up in the moment, enjoying our fleshly, worldly desires.
The Lord is calling us to come back. He wants to protect us. We have gotten too far away. We no longer hear his cries. They are drowned out by the loud crashing waves of this world. Pride, vanity, money, pornography, sex, drugs and alcohol...we are trapped in the middle of their false allure.
Never finding the happiness we had hoped for, our life begins to fall apart around us. We stand alone on the long, lonely, isolated stretch of sand. Crying, calling out to the Lord, "Where are you Heavenly Father? I need you. I'm so scared and alone. Please come and help me."
He is there running behind you, trying to catch up and bring you home. Calling you home to the safety of his loving and forgiving protection. Just call out to him, he will hear you. You are never out of his sight. He is waiting for you to stop running. Just like huskies, we have a natural instinct to run after the things of this world. These things only give us fleeting, momentary pleasure. Followed by our guilt, unhappiness and self-loathing. Stop running and look to the Lord for peace, shelter, comfort, love and complete happiness. He is waiting for you.
"Submit to God and be at peace with him; in this way prosperity will come to you. Accept instruction from his mouth and lay up his words in your heart. If you return to the Almighty, you will be restored: If you remove wickedness far from your tent and assign your nuggets to the dust, your gold of Ophir to the rocks in the ravines, then the Almighty will be your gold, the choicest of silver for you. Surely you will find delight in the Almighty and will lift up your face to God. You will pray to him, and he will hear you, and you will fullfill your vows. What you decide on will be done, and light will shine on your ways. When men are brought low and you say, "Lift them up!" then he will save the downcast. He will deliver even one who is not innocent, through the cleanness of your hands."
Job 22:21-30
This particular day seemed no different than others before it. We strolled along the white, long stretch of sand. The chill of the wind was stinging our faces, as Allie frolicked in the water, chasing dogs and birds. Allie stopped and waited every so often just as she had been trained.
The sun was lowering behind a low patch of fluffy, cotton white clouds, signaling an end to our day. Approaching the part of the beach that we attach Allie to her leash, she abruptly turned and began running the opposite direction. We cried out, "Allie, Allie...STOP, come back here!" She continued to run, farther and farther. Our cries soon becoming muffled, lost in the pounding crash of the waves, beating against the sand.
We continued to walk in the direction she was running. We were certain she would eventually stop, look back and dash towards us. She began to appear as though she was a mirage, to far away to tell if it was really her. I began to run, worried that she might scale the steep cliff and run into the heavy, rush hour traffic on Pacific Coast Highway.
She had slowed down, but was still very far ahead. She now started to approach the few people on the beach, a woman at first, and then a couple. Each time she would walk away. She appeared to realize that she was lost. Walking away from the couple, with no one else around, she stood alone in the middle of the beach, a long isolated view in front of her. I began to get closer as she stood in one place. Her head was faced up towards the orange, red & yellow sky of the setting sun. She was howling, loud piercing cries, crying out because she was scared and lost. She had gone too far and now realized her mistake.
Out of breath, I started to walk, passing a couple that was staring at Allie. The wife looked at me with large, concerned eyes, "Oh, she's crying...she thinks she's lost." Finally close enough for her to hear me I shouted, "Allie, come here, I'm right here!" She quickly stopped her howl, snapped her head down, stared frozen for a moment and sprinted towards me. Her eyes squinting through the blowing wind, tongue hanging out of her mouth, tail wagging, and wait a minute...is that a smile? Can dogs smile? It sure looked like it to me. Reaching me, she jumped up on me and kissed me.
This story sadly represents our walk with the Lord. We are safely beside him, protected, loved and happy. All of a sudden something catches our attention. It looks fun, challenging, exciting...our mind starts to run. Next our body begins to chase after it also. We are going full speed in the wrong direction. Getting caught up in the moment, enjoying our fleshly, worldly desires.
The Lord is calling us to come back. He wants to protect us. We have gotten too far away. We no longer hear his cries. They are drowned out by the loud crashing waves of this world. Pride, vanity, money, pornography, sex, drugs and alcohol...we are trapped in the middle of their false allure.
Never finding the happiness we had hoped for, our life begins to fall apart around us. We stand alone on the long, lonely, isolated stretch of sand. Crying, calling out to the Lord, "Where are you Heavenly Father? I need you. I'm so scared and alone. Please come and help me."
He is there running behind you, trying to catch up and bring you home. Calling you home to the safety of his loving and forgiving protection. Just call out to him, he will hear you. You are never out of his sight. He is waiting for you to stop running. Just like huskies, we have a natural instinct to run after the things of this world. These things only give us fleeting, momentary pleasure. Followed by our guilt, unhappiness and self-loathing. Stop running and look to the Lord for peace, shelter, comfort, love and complete happiness. He is waiting for you.
"Submit to God and be at peace with him; in this way prosperity will come to you. Accept instruction from his mouth and lay up his words in your heart. If you return to the Almighty, you will be restored: If you remove wickedness far from your tent and assign your nuggets to the dust, your gold of Ophir to the rocks in the ravines, then the Almighty will be your gold, the choicest of silver for you. Surely you will find delight in the Almighty and will lift up your face to God. You will pray to him, and he will hear you, and you will fullfill your vows. What you decide on will be done, and light will shine on your ways. When men are brought low and you say, "Lift them up!" then he will save the downcast. He will deliver even one who is not innocent, through the cleanness of your hands."
Job 22:21-30
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Don't Cry At Work!
I had a pretty tough weekend, very emotional. It started on Friday at work, I have been struggling with the finance thing again (getting close to the end of the month, no money for groceries or gas right now and another payment is due.) I've been really trying to have faith and know that it'll all work out, but sometimes I just reach my breaking point.
On Friday I was already pretty down but trying to put on my fake happy face. One of my bosses was being kind of snippy all morning. I went in to tell him something and I guess I had a little bit of an attitude, he looked up at me and said, "What's wrong, are you okay?" "Yeah, I'm fine," I replied rather quickly. "No, somethings wrong, I can tell. Do you want to talk about anything? I'm a really good listener. Is something going on at home with your kids, or husband?" He asked with honest concern. "No, I'm fine, really," as the tears started to well up. Now, I NEVER cry in front of anyone, ESPECIALLY AT WORK!! Since my stupid emotions gave me away, I blurted out, "Just having some financial struggles, but we'll be fine." "I'm really good with money, I can help," he said, "Thanks, but we'll be fine." I rushed out and went straight into the bathroom, wiped my face off, regrouped, and went back to my desk.
I went home and cried to my husband, I was soooo embarrassed! I can't believe I broke down. I spent the rest of the evening laying around, took a nap, woke up, watched t.v. and went back to sleep again. Sleep sure does make things seem better, you actually stop thinking of your problems.
The next morning I got up, my son had left to go surfing and grabbed the wrong wetsuit, he needed us to take it to him. This forced me to get up and out of the house. I took my camera and drove to give Jullien the wetsuit. While my husband, Anthony, Jullien and his friend surfed, I tried to capture the moment with some pictures. I walked out onto the jetty's to get a closer shot. I had to be careful because some of the waves were big and I was afraid my camera was going to get wet. This is exactly what I needed to snap me out of my depression. My morning helped me get my mind off of myself...hope you enjoy visiting Newport Beach, CA on a Saturday morning (Double Click Pics For Close Up View).
Anthony (my hubby)
Jullien (Off The Lip)
Wave By the Jetty
Waves Crashing in Front of Me
Feeding Bird
Houses Along Newport Beach Boardwalk
Lifeguards on Duty
The Morning Line Up on the Weekend (it's a battle)
Surfing Has Rules...Must Know This Before You Enter the Line Up...
Jullien and his friend Josh...Good Waves=HAPPY BOYS!
On Friday I was already pretty down but trying to put on my fake happy face. One of my bosses was being kind of snippy all morning. I went in to tell him something and I guess I had a little bit of an attitude, he looked up at me and said, "What's wrong, are you okay?" "Yeah, I'm fine," I replied rather quickly. "No, somethings wrong, I can tell. Do you want to talk about anything? I'm a really good listener. Is something going on at home with your kids, or husband?" He asked with honest concern. "No, I'm fine, really," as the tears started to well up. Now, I NEVER cry in front of anyone, ESPECIALLY AT WORK!! Since my stupid emotions gave me away, I blurted out, "Just having some financial struggles, but we'll be fine." "I'm really good with money, I can help," he said, "Thanks, but we'll be fine." I rushed out and went straight into the bathroom, wiped my face off, regrouped, and went back to my desk.
I went home and cried to my husband, I was soooo embarrassed! I can't believe I broke down. I spent the rest of the evening laying around, took a nap, woke up, watched t.v. and went back to sleep again. Sleep sure does make things seem better, you actually stop thinking of your problems.
The next morning I got up, my son had left to go surfing and grabbed the wrong wetsuit, he needed us to take it to him. This forced me to get up and out of the house. I took my camera and drove to give Jullien the wetsuit. While my husband, Anthony, Jullien and his friend surfed, I tried to capture the moment with some pictures. I walked out onto the jetty's to get a closer shot. I had to be careful because some of the waves were big and I was afraid my camera was going to get wet. This is exactly what I needed to snap me out of my depression. My morning helped me get my mind off of myself...hope you enjoy visiting Newport Beach, CA on a Saturday morning (Double Click Pics For Close Up View).
Anthony (my hubby)
Jullien (Off The Lip)
Wave By the Jetty
Waves Crashing in Front of Me
Feeding Bird
Houses Along Newport Beach Boardwalk
Lifeguards on Duty
The Morning Line Up on the Weekend (it's a battle)
Surfing Has Rules...Must Know This Before You Enter the Line Up...
Jullien and his friend Josh...Good Waves=HAPPY BOYS!
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