WOW...WHERE TO BEGIN-THE ADOPTION?

WOW...where to begin? I guess I'll start here:

First of all, we're on the tail end of ALL the paperwork to finalize the adoption of our foster son, Lil J. We thought we were done raising our "Brady Bunch" family when Elijah (our baby) graduated high school (WOOHOO...US time!) But Jesus had other plans for us. I received an email about a young boy that changed everything. It reached deep down into my core. I was unable to shake it. So, after praying with my hubby for several days, we began to move. We took steps of faith, walking it out and waiting on The Lord's will for our lives, our family's and lil J's. 

His mom was in hospice, dying of breast cancer. He hadn't been placed in a home yet and had been at the large local facility waiting for the right family for 3 months. As we visited with him (getting to know him and him us), I prayed that if The Lord wanted us to have him in our lives, to please let his mom hang on long enough to meet us and know her son would be well taken care of. 

After several visits with lil J, knowing/getting confirmation that he would become our foster son, I asked him if it would be okay to visit his mom so she would know that he would be well taken care of. I just couldn't imagine getting ready to leave this earth and not knowing where my child would end up/who would be taking care of him. He gave his approval (he was 13 at the time). I sat on it for a whole week. I was nervous and knew it would be awkward (Hi, you don't know us but we're going to be raising your son, as you prepare to go to Heaven). 

Finally, after work on a Friday, I KNEW it was the day we HAD to go visit. I bought flowers, took pics of our house, his room, our family, and our dog. The hubby and I headed over to the hospice facility. She looked better than I expected and was sitting up. She was very thin, pale, with long dark hair and big eyes. She was so young...too young to be going through this. We nervously introduced ourselves. She stared intently at us for a few minutes, looking, searching...then told us she was really hot (I'm sure she was just as nervous and uncomfortable as we were). My hubby went out to get her some ice for her ice pack. I stumbled over my words...wanting her to know how we came to this point, standing here in her room-preparing to care for her child. I showed her the pictures and explained each one. She took a long time...as though committing each and every picture to memory. After about 30 minutes of visiting, her mom and aunt came into the room. We introduced ourselves to them and then said our goodbyes (it was about 8:30 p.m.) I mentally made plans to come and visit her in the coming weeks so she could really get to know me. 

The next day, (Saturday, at 12:00 p.m.), as we were driving to go visit lil' J, we received a call that his mom had passed away. I broke down sobbing. I thought we would have more time. She looked like she had more time, I mean, we had just been talking to her...

At her services, her family shared the fact that she had been praying for a good family to take her son. After meeting us, she felt she was finally able to let go of her pain and suffering and go home. I took special note of the date, it was December 7th...the day before my birthday. One mother, handing her heart over to another; her gift to me, her greatest treasure, her child...her son.

After 1 year of being in our family as our foster son...we are now making it permanent. Sometimes children are just meant to be a part of your family. God knows exactly what He's doing. It happened first years ago, when I received my three step-kids to help raise and guide. And now we've been given another son, who was meant to be a part of our lives. As we said, "Yes, LORD, YOUR WILL for our lives," He in turn answered a mother's prayer before she was called home. He is always working, as we learn to let go of our carefully planned lives and give HIM room to work, we find our true purpose and joy...HIS WILL. 

Missing My Dad...2 Years Today

Today is the second anniversary of my dad's passing. It brings me right back to the last time I saw him. I've never been very good about calling my family. During my dad's sickness I tried to call more often to check on him. One particular morning a Twitter friend asked how my dad was doing. I hadn't talked to him or my mom in a week so I wanted to call before I responded to my friend to get the latest update. My mom answered and told me that my dad had been asking where I was. She proceeded to remind him that I was in California.

Living so far away, my constant daily prayer was, "Dear Heavenly Father, please let me know when it's time to see my dad before you call him home." As I hung up the phone, I felt an incredible, overwhelming prompting to drive to Utah right away. I checked the weather report, a big storm was heading in but not until late the following night. I took off the next morning hoping to beat the snowstorm, driving straight through to Utah. The storm arrived early. I was alone, driving right through the middle of almost white out conditions. I prayed and prayed, tense hands gripping the wheel, passing several cars which had slid off the road. My mom called worried, asking me to please stop & stay the night somewhere...but I knew I had to get there that night.

My prayers were answered, after 12 hours I pulled safely into the driveway. I went right in to see my dad. He was so happy to see me & my sister Stacy who had just flown in. We visited. His voice weak, but full of love and happiness to see us. As we said good night, he looked intently at us and said, "Tomorrow's going to be a good day." I  woke in the early morning hours being told that my dad wasn't doing good. My brothers. sisters, and mom all surrounded my dad, each taking turns with him.

As I spent time with him, I told him how much it meant to me when he told me how proud he was of the person I had become and the mother I was to my kids. Those words were powerful. They pushed away all thoughts of failure over choices I'd made in the past that hadn't always been the best. They filled my heart with peace. To know that my dad, the incredible man and example that he was, was proud of me...it changed me. I told him how much I loved him. What an incredible father he's been never treating me like a step-daughter but a real daughter. I let him know that we'd all be there to take care of mom so he could let go and go home to his Heavenly Father. I wanted him to be filled with complete peace. To know that the family he'd loved, raised and provided for would be there for each other in his absence. He was our role model, our teacher, a man who not only led with words but more importantly by example. Which speaks louder than words.

As we sat in the room, nothing but love. Love of family, the only thing in this life that truly matters filled the room. Overwhelming love. Abounding love. Amazing love. Unending love. Tears of love filled to overflowing. We waited. I leaned close to kiss him against the backdrop of the slight flurry of snowflakes dusting the ground outside the window. Snow. His favorite. Nothing but love. His eyes looking toward the ceiling, he seemed to see someone familiar, his voice but a whisper, "Here He comes."

On a day that my dad knew would be, "A good day," He went home to his Heavenly Father. And though I miss him everyday, I'm so grateful that I was there to say goodbye. To feel the love inside that room. To hear my dad whispering to the Lord as He came to take him home. I know that one day, on "A good day," I too will see him again. I love and miss you dad. I know that your presence and amazing smile makes Heaven a little bright.

 

Mixed Emotions

Sometimes days start out one way and end another. I had a great day at work...the owner gave my manager & I his credit card & told us to have lunch on him. I had a delicious filet mignon, mashed potatoes & veggies for $10.00 at Pascal in Fashion Island (they have a $10.00 menu before 6:30 pm.) Then we stopped and got some Gelato Paradiso. By the time we got back to work it was time for me to go home (now that's what I call a perfect work day:D) 

At 6:00 p.m. my son Elijah had a 7 on 7 game against the Edison Alumni (he got 2 picks). I was on picture duty as usual, but I love it...it puts me right in the middle of the action. By the time I got home, things were all good. But after I received a phone call, my day quickly turned. I had a little melt down. I'm not a crier AT ALL. I'm a pretty tough cookie who holds things in. I usually just suck it up and  "deal with it." But every once in a while, something can strike a cord with me and after the phone conversation, I couldn't hold it in.

On the rare occasions I do break down I try to make sure I'm all alone. But the tears started to come and my hubby was in the room. I kept trying to hold them back, but they slowly trickled down. Eventually he caught on and since it's such a rare occasion, he wasn't quite sure how to react. Poor guy. He came over to give me a hug & I said, "No hugs...it'll only make me cry more." So he just kind of stood there looking at me. Then kept asking, "What's wrong?" I finally broke down and told him my feelings were hurt (another thing I never want to admit.) He was so sweet he just listened (*something he's been working on~guys try to fix things but girls usually just want their man to listen.)

Sometimes feelings flare up and cause, moments, and I was definitely having my moment. After I had a good cry, he said, "Can I hug you now?" I let him this time. He then asked if he could pray with me. Of course I said yes. I felt much better after he finished. I have to admit, I don't like having a girl moment at all. But sometimes it's just unavoidable.

I was thinking how fickle our emotions are...up and down...back and forth...round and round. The one thing that's certain, even though our perfect days may not end up perfect...things ALWAYS get better. So as I write this, yes my feelings were hurt. Yes, I lost it for a moment. Do I need to dwell on it, no. Emotions can take us on a roller coaster ride. Emotions can control our reality if we let it. It's good to let things out, but our emotions can't always be trusted. They blow in and out like the passing of the wind. Don't get lost in the emotion of the moment. My boss told me her friend who had cancer always used to say, "Breathe in...breathe out...move on."

In the Moment...Neglecting!

I miss my Blog!

I used to post every couple of days. Writing about random things that happened to me during my week, but since I decided to post about all the MUST SEE places in Maui, I find myself needing more time than usual to post the best pictures out of over 300+ that I took AND find the mile markers to coincide with them. No easy task! Especially since my next post is my FAVORITE spots.

Then there's my book to finish typing, pictures to download, Bible study, weekly Prayer requests/story's to get out, football games, team dinners...etc., etc.

The problem is I enjoy them all and in the moment...I can do them all. But time is stingy and seems to get in the way of all I need to do...I need more of it!

My hubby tells me I always put too much on my plate, over-committing myself. He's probably right, but I get excited about things...in the moment...feeling like I can accomplish everything I've said, "YES!" to.

So something has to give...and it appears, to be my Blog lately.

Baby Ariella UPDATE: Our Family Visit

Ariella grasping Elijah's fingers

On Sunday we were finally able to visit Baby Ariella & we weren't disappointed. Please stop by her page and read the details...she's a living Miracle! Please continue to pray, throughout the day as she enters your mind. The Prayers you're lifting up are moving mountains!

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/ariellahorne

An Update...

Thank you all for your prayers, concern & comments...it really means a lot. It looks like the infection is under control (yay!) Jullien went to a dentist today and found out that he received such a severe blow to the face that his upper jaw is actually fractured & the tooth (the one directly next to the left front tooth) fell out because when his jaw bone split it just released the entire tooth, root & all.

Now he has no choice but to wait 6 wks before attempting an implant. We are still praying that his left front tooth will adhere so he isn't looking at two implants (time will tell). He's pretty stressed about walking around that long with no tooth.

He will hopefully see an attorney tomorrow to go after the guy who did this & make him pay his medical, dental & hopefully lost wages (he wont be able to work-they don't particularly like toothless models!hahha.) Guess it makes me feel better to make light of it. Anyways, he's still in a lot of pain, so if you can continue to keep him in your prayers. Also pray that everything goes good with the attorney tomorrow, and he'll take the case...he just wants to get back to his normal life!

Prayer Request Tuesday

I wanted to remind everyone that it is prayer request Tuesday. Once a week I am inviting everyone to send in their problems, burdens, concerns and anxiety's. Let others pray for you during your time of need. You can never have enough prayer!

FEELING SHIPWRECKED?

"I am the Lord, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?"
Jeremiah 32:27

"Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know."
Jeremiah 33:3

LET THE LORD RAISE YOUR SAILS AND GET YOU BACK IN THE RACE FOR THAT WHICH HE HAS CALLED YOU!

The Little Drummer Boy

Preparing for the holiday season can be overwhelming. Please stop and take a moment to reflect on the true meaning of this amazing day.

Pondering the words of my favorite Christmas song, I realized how each one of us has a "drum" to play:

The Little Drummer Boy
Composed by Katherine K. Davis, Henry Onorati & Harry Simeone in 1958.

Come they told me, pa rum pum pum pum
A new born King to see, pa rum pum pum pum
Our finest gifts we bring, pa rum pum pum pum
To lay before the King, pa rum pum pum pum,
rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum,

So to honor Him, pa rum pum pum pum,
When we come.

Little Baby, pa rum pum pum pum
I am a poor boy too, pa rum pum pum pum
I have no gift to bring, pa rum pum pum pum
That's fit to give the King, pa rum pum pum pum,
rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum,

Shall I play for you, pa rum pum pum pum,
On my drum?

Mary nodded, pa rum pum pum pum
The ox and lamb kept time, pa rum pum pum pum
I played my drum for Him, pa rum pum pum pum
I played my best for Him, pa rum pum pum pum,
rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum,

Then He smiled at me, pa rum pum pum pum
Me and my drum.

We often feel as though we haven't any gifts to give our Savior. Struggling through our everyday lives to live in a way that would honor him. We are often poor, broken, and hurting, without anything fit for our King. The Lord asks us to, come as we are.

He has bestowed upon us gifts and talents. He only asks us to use them to be a blessing to others. Prayer warrior, comforter, musician, motivator, encourager, writer, pastor...we each have a "drum." Step forward and use it to honor him.

This Christmas and throughout the year, remember to play your "drum" for him. Play your best for him, as he smiles down upon us with unselfish love and forgiveness.

"You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven."
Matthew 5:14-16

Watch part of The Little Drummer Video

Faith Hill's Version of Little Drummer Boy

David Bowie & Bing Crosby's Version of Little Drummer Boy

Which Version do you like?

Have a very Merry Christmas!

THE FUNDRAISER WAS AWESOME!

The fundraiser for Luke..."Locks for Luke" was amazing. It started at 7:00 am and one of our rival schools, Servite High School was the first team there (even before our boys from Edison arrived). They came to get their heads shaved and show support. After they were done, they huddled in a circle in the parking lot and prayed for Luke. The Huntington Beach Fire Dept. showed up and shaved their heads. Fox Sports Net was there interviewing and covering the whole event.

What an incredible day...it sure renews your faith in people!


JULLIEN


One of the players with Luke's initial's


Quarterback shaving his long hair


Inside the Salon


Jullien and Teammates


Football team in front of salon and Fire Engine (Jullien's the tall one in navy tank)


Fox Sport Net Interview

More Interviews

Coming Together For A Cause

I have been really stretching and growing lately (the comfort zone thing). I want to make a difference any way I can...which can be a little stressful when you doubt yourself a lot. I decided to sign up to take a dinner to the Gane family (this is HUGE for me). I know most of you think, "What's the big deal?" Well you've never had the displeasure of eating my cooking! Even my own kids HATE my meals. I'm not exaggerating, I'm BAD, I don't enjoy it either. It falls right up there with the laundry category (which my husband does). He refuses to cook though...so everyone gets to suffer.

I make one good dinner, tacos...everyone loves my tacos. Now I'll give you one guess what I'm making for the Gane family...yep, you're right. I'm going to bring chips and salsa and banana splits for desert (this should make them happy...it's a bunch of boys). I'm really starting to see some growth here...Woo Hoo!

Tonight there is going to be a prayer concert for Luke http://lukegane.blogspot.com/
He has started the chemo and is VERY SICK! He will be receiving the bone marrow transplant on Tuesday, Sept. 2 from his ten year old brother. So if you can all keep praying for Luke and his family!!

Tomorrow they will be having a fund-raiser, "Locks for Luke"...they are asking for a $20.00 donation and shaving the boys heads in Luke's honor and to help raise money for the family. If you are interested in donating money please contact, bfisherhb@yahoo.com (I don't have the specific account information)...any amount ($1.00, $5.00, $10.00) every little bit adds up. I will be taking my son there and also taking pictures to post and forward to the family.

I would like to encourage all my blogging friends to come together for a cause...(praying and/or donating)...YOU CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN SOMEONES LIFE!!

PRAY FOR LUKE GANE!

I blogged a little bit about a player on my son's High School Football team who had a bloody nose that wouldn't stop. He went to the Dr.'s and found out he has Aplastic Anemia ( a rare blood disease).

He now will be starting chemotherapy and eventually receive a bone marrow transplant from one of his brothers (both twins were a match). The team will be leaving to go play a football game in Hawaii on Monday, which Luke was supposed to be playing in also. He will start treatments on Tuesday, so I am asking all of my Blogging friends to please pray for him, stop by his Blog...http://lukegane.blogspot.com/ leave him a message of encouragement and hope as he begins his battle. They have posted pictures, messages, information explaining this disease that can strike at anytime and his daily progress reports.

What Did You Do Today?

I just want to check in with everyone and find out what good deed you did today?  It doesn't matter how small, just anything!  I hope you will post what you did in my comment section and then add it onto your blog.  I want everyone to challenge the people in their lives to do the same and lets see if we can get this thing rolling!!

So today I decided I wasn't going to let one of my bosses get to me and upset me like he did last week.  This morning I prayed all morning and then again on the way to work.  I  stopped to get some gum and an older man in his 80's turned around and said, "Sorry, I'm taking so long, I'll be done in a minute I'm buying some toys to donate to some needy kids through my church.  He was so happy and sweet that all of my anxiety about getting to work just disappeared.  I said to myself, "What a great way to start the day!"  When I headed outside, I noticed the little man was getting into a broken down white buick with rust and dents all over it.  Wow, I thought....he obviously doesn't have a lot of money and he is still helping!

I got to work and said, "Good Morning" to my boss.....NO RESPONSE.  I went back to my desk said another prayer, this time for him.  Which was very hard to do when he was the last person I wanted to pray for after the way he treated me last week.  But I thought, he obviously needs it ALOT!  So I heard him getting upset with someone on the phone, then he hung up and SLAMMED the phone over and over again about 4 times.  I said another two prayers for him and me!  Within 15 minutes I went back into his office to give him something and then he asked in a very cheerful voice, "How are you doing?"  Then he smiled and asked if I would walk across the street and get him some lunch and he wanted to buy my lunch too.  The rest of the day he was like a completely different person.  PRAYERS WORK!!!!  Just remember to pray for the people that are the hardest to like.....they need it the most!

Please let me know how your day of kindness went.  

READ MATTHEW 22: 37-40