WOW...WHERE TO BEGIN-THE ADOPTION?

WOW...where to begin? I guess I'll start here:

First of all, we're on the tail end of ALL the paperwork to finalize the adoption of our foster son, Lil J. We thought we were done raising our "Brady Bunch" family when Elijah (our baby) graduated high school (WOOHOO...US time!) But Jesus had other plans for us. I received an email about a young boy that changed everything. It reached deep down into my core. I was unable to shake it. So, after praying with my hubby for several days, we began to move. We took steps of faith, walking it out and waiting on The Lord's will for our lives, our family's and lil J's. 

His mom was in hospice, dying of breast cancer. He hadn't been placed in a home yet and had been at the large local facility waiting for the right family for 3 months. As we visited with him (getting to know him and him us), I prayed that if The Lord wanted us to have him in our lives, to please let his mom hang on long enough to meet us and know her son would be well taken care of. 

After several visits with lil J, knowing/getting confirmation that he would become our foster son, I asked him if it would be okay to visit his mom so she would know that he would be well taken care of. I just couldn't imagine getting ready to leave this earth and not knowing where my child would end up/who would be taking care of him. He gave his approval (he was 13 at the time). I sat on it for a whole week. I was nervous and knew it would be awkward (Hi, you don't know us but we're going to be raising your son, as you prepare to go to Heaven). 

Finally, after work on a Friday, I KNEW it was the day we HAD to go visit. I bought flowers, took pics of our house, his room, our family, and our dog. The hubby and I headed over to the hospice facility. She looked better than I expected and was sitting up. She was very thin, pale, with long dark hair and big eyes. She was so young...too young to be going through this. We nervously introduced ourselves. She stared intently at us for a few minutes, looking, searching...then told us she was really hot (I'm sure she was just as nervous and uncomfortable as we were). My hubby went out to get her some ice for her ice pack. I stumbled over my words...wanting her to know how we came to this point, standing here in her room-preparing to care for her child. I showed her the pictures and explained each one. She took a long time...as though committing each and every picture to memory. After about 30 minutes of visiting, her mom and aunt came into the room. We introduced ourselves to them and then said our goodbyes (it was about 8:30 p.m.) I mentally made plans to come and visit her in the coming weeks so she could really get to know me. 

The next day, (Saturday, at 12:00 p.m.), as we were driving to go visit lil' J, we received a call that his mom had passed away. I broke down sobbing. I thought we would have more time. She looked like she had more time, I mean, we had just been talking to her...

At her services, her family shared the fact that she had been praying for a good family to take her son. After meeting us, she felt she was finally able to let go of her pain and suffering and go home. I took special note of the date, it was December 7th...the day before my birthday. One mother, handing her heart over to another; her gift to me, her greatest treasure, her child...her son.

After 1 year of being in our family as our foster son...we are now making it permanent. Sometimes children are just meant to be a part of your family. God knows exactly what He's doing. It happened first years ago, when I received my three step-kids to help raise and guide. And now we've been given another son, who was meant to be a part of our lives. As we said, "Yes, LORD, YOUR WILL for our lives," He in turn answered a mother's prayer before she was called home. He is always working, as we learn to let go of our carefully planned lives and give HIM room to work, we find our true purpose and joy...HIS WILL. 

A Day of Change

I came home from work just as Josh was getting ready to leave for his interview. I had to leave to go to Elijah's basketball game and waited for his call. For those of you who don't know Josh...he is a man of VERY FEW words. It's like pulling teeth to get detailed information. He said that he thought it went well...that's about all I got. I don't want to be a meddling mother so I left it at that.

Thank you all for your prayers...he needs a job so bad! He is really depressed right now, this will help him to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I got home from the game, Jason (my nephew) had just dropped Josh off here. He has nowhere else to go and doesn't want to stay here at all! He was crying and said that he doesn't want to talk to me. He's still angry with me about something that happened a year ago that disrupted my kids lives. His dad continually filled his head with a bunch of negative things about me.

Needless to say, our relationship has been a surface one. He spends time with me but it's usually a little strained. I tried to tell him that we can use this time to get everything in his life straightened out and then he can eventually get an apartment. He is too upset right now...he wants to live at my sisters with his cousin. Luckily my wise brother-in-law put his foot down, (my nephew and son are not good together and bring each other down) he told him he cannot live there and needs to go home to his mom.

We'll see what happens...lots of prayers are needed right now! Change is always hard, but necessary for growth.

The Invisible Man

Last Saturday my middle son Jullien really upset me when I picked him up. He said some pretty mean things to me, so I dropped him off at the house and just took off for some alone time (I needed to cry a little). I drove through Taco Bell, picked up some food and headed to a store where I was going to buy some crafts to make some Mother's Day gifts. I pulled up in front of the store and parked and just sat there eating.

As I looked around, (feeling a little sorry for myself), I noticed a guy with long tangled silver hair, a short white scraggly beard, an old black leather jacket, and torn blue jeans. He was standing up, leaning with his forehead pressed against the wall. I had some time to just observe while I finished my lunch, (which is very rare for me to have TIME). So I just watched, wondering if anyone would ask him if he was okay. The first couple that went by was probably in their 20's and didn't even glance in the man's direction. A couple of ladies in their thirties also proceeded to walk past the man, (who had not moved or changed positions for about 10 minutes), again not even a look towards him. The same thing happened about six more times. The way everyone just strolled by, made me wonder if the man was a figment of my imagination.

After about 20 minutes I got to the point that I was hoping and praying that someone would just LOOK at the man. With each new person I thought, "Surely they will at least see that he is there and may need help." Finally, a mother, with a short brown bob haircut, tan shorts, and a white floral blouse, and her daughter (about 3 years old), who looked like a miniature cut out version of the mother, went walking right past him. The mom seemed to notice the man only because her young daughter had lagged a little behind and she was concerned for her daughter's
safety. The daughter on the other hand, seemed to notice that something was wrong with the man and stopped to stare at him. The mother quickly grabbed her daughter's hand and dragged her away, while the daughter continued to look back at the man.

Next, a cute, plump, elderly husband and wife in their 80's walked by, they too, both looked directly at the man and then continued to look as they walked by, with a quick glance back before they entered the store. The man had still remained in the same position. About 10 more people in their 20's, 30's and 40's passed the invisible man.

As I finished the last few bites of my burrito, I thought, "Why was the man only visible to the young and the elderly?" Were they the only one's that were not too busy to see another person who may be hurting? How had my generation become so insensitive and self absorbed that they could not even SEE someone who may need them?

I got out of my car, and headed towards the man. I stopped and said, "Is everything okay? Do you need some help?" He looked up from the wall, smiled a toothless grin and said, "I'm just trying to figure a few things out on this cell phone, but thanks anyways." I said, "Good luck, they can be a little tricky in the beginning, have a great day!" He said, "You got that right, thank you, you too!" He seemed so happy that someone had spoken to him. He continued to smile as I headed into the store.

The invisible man did not need my help today, but what if he had? Did it take a lot of effort on my part to look at him and see if he needed some assistance? I hope that we can be like the young children and the elderly....that we will be able to SEE someone directly in our path. You may be the one person who can brighten that persons whole day. It requires only a little effort, concern, and time....but the rewards you will receive from a simple smile on a sad, tired, broken face, is amazing! Go out and notice the invisible men and women standing right in front of you!