Thursday, June 26, 2008

INSOMNIA...

I can't take it anymore...I have had SEVERE insomnia for about 4 weeks now. I always have bouts of it here and there, but this is getting ridiculous. I am running on about 3 or 4 hours of sleep a night, yes, it's definitely stress related, but I can't shut my brain off, I just lay there and think, think, think. I tried melatonin, two different natural sleep aids, and Tylenol P.M. (can't function the next day.) I feel like a sloppy, drunk person trying to focus, drive and function during the day. I have to spend extra time checking and re-checking myself at work to make sure I'm not making any stupid mistakes.





We are in a scary situation right now and I've been trying to have faith, hope, trust and praying that the Lord will see us through this tough time...so here it is, I'm hoping that if I let it out, maybe I will be able to sleep and completely release it and put it in God's hands. We are very close to a foreclosure. If we can't come up with a house payment by the 30th, we will be 3 months behind...and they will start the foreclosure process. I've been keeping it all in and trying to not think about it, but obviously my subconscious is working overtime. My poor husband has been working 7 days a week, overtime and side jobs...but it is just never enough. I've been doing my side job and trying to put in extra hours at work too. I try and put it all in perspective, other people have it so much worse, but I am just sooo scared.

I have waited my whole life to own a home (I was a broke single mom for years), when my dream finally came true at the age of 36...I was an ecstatic and grateful homeowner! A fantasy wish that finally came true!! Now here I sit waiting and wondering about my families future. Never imagining that we would be in this situation, I thought my many years of struggling were over. Now, inching ever closer to the 30th, praying, waiting, hoping and trusting for a miracle.

I hope that this will relieve some of this bottled up stress, it's so embarrassing, but this is my reality...my dream may be coming to an end. Four days till my families fate...will we be able to come up with a payment, I don't know, please remember us in your prayers.

I've been reading this scripture A LOT!

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6

3 comments:

Robin said...

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I love how strong your faith is. The Lord has helped me through the darkest days of my life. Just when I thought I couldn't take one more day, He was there for me as He is for you. Love the scripture you quoted. It is so true.
Blessings and Love,
Robin

SoccerMom said...

You are definitely in my prayers!
Hang in there

BIG SoccerMom HUGGSS

~Trish~ said...

Of course you are in my prayers as well. DONT be embarressed, sheesh things happen and with the price of EVERYTHING these days, I'm sure this situation is happening to more people than you probably know! I'm doing that whole single mother with two kids thing right now too and yes, it is a struggle constantly and I've had my way ups and my way downs but you know what, things will always work out...be strong and have faith!! Love ya girl!