Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Cleaning Up The Past Friendships
Years ago I was friends with a girl who I met when my oldest son (now 22) & her son were in elementary school together. Our sons were best friends & we soon became very close too. We had a lot in common, we both loved to dance (go to clubs), were sarcastic & loved to joke around. I was going through some hard times financially & she let me & my three boys come & stay with her until we got back on our feet (for about 3 months.)
Everything was going along fine, I was cleaning, taking/picking up the kids from school, football & baseball practices, I wanted to be sure I was making her life easier & not harder because she was letting us stay with her. Then I found out she was talking behind my back & making hurtful comments to other people about me. I never asked her if we could stay with her, she offered, I refused, but she insisted saying it would be no big deal, it was only for a few months. My feelings were kind of hurt, but I never said anything (which was definitely not like me.)
Then one day, it went a step further I couldn't pick up the kids because of a prior engagement. She said, "No problem, I'll have my friend do it." Okay, no biggy, right?
She had her friend pick up her son & left my two young sons to walk home alone. You can say all you want about me, but when you mess with mama bear's kids, and their safety, it's on! I snapped, I couldn't believe it. Needless to say, that ended the friendship.
About 10 years later I ran into her, (she was in front of me at Target.) I acted as if I didn't see her, even when she made a point of telling the checker that an item wasn't her's, but mine. I continued to ignore her (never made eye contact.)
Then a few weeks ago, I was coming out of a Sushi Restaurant, & she was walking up, I quickly looked the other way & kept walking. Now, here's the thing, I'm not mad at her anymore, I'm a different person than I was 15 years ago. I'm very grateful for what she did...people make mistakes, Lord knows I have. But I don't know why I can't just walk up to her & say, "Hey, thank you for all you did, I'm sorry for the way things turned out." The past is the past.
But that fear of rejection, not knowing how she'll react, leaves me in that, "I can't see you-you can't see me place!"lol! Anyways, I'm telling all of this because I've made a decision to be BOLD the next time I run into her. No more hiding, ignoring & looking the other way. It's time to clean up past friendships.
So do any of you have messy friendships that need cleaning up? Or am I the only immature one?